just want let him know

The time now is 8.30pm.. 2/1/07..
Feeling seem to be beta after talkin to Sara, i didnt know that i will burst out in tears so badly when talkin to her.. like what she say, she know i am really badly hurt cos this is the first time i cry out in front of her.. all the long, i am always a strong ger in her eyes.. but this time round i fail to control my tears, it just roll down heavier n heavier..let time heal the wound and let time flow by..

So many things had happened this few days.. esp in mind of leaving or taking leave from st john, but i know that rite now isnt a rite time to do that, i need work n work to take him off my mind first.. i dunno if this is the rite way to do but i guess this is the only way out now.. let just pray that i wont collapse in this process.. everything affected such as sleep and eatin.. rite now, it seem like i sleeping lesser n lesser each day(body seem to be screamin) and dun feel like eatin(sorry.. ah gong.. i know u care for me.. n dun wish to be like u sufferin now.. but i really dun feel like eating.. let me be ba)

special thanks to all who have been there for me these few days.. i know u guys are trying very hard to put a smile in my face.. i know i did try my very best.. sorry if i do a bad job.. i wasnt in the mood..

All i ask for now is that he will still treat me as a friend.. but not someone who avoid me.. just a sms or a short call is what i ask for.. i hate to lose a friend just like that..hope he know what i am feelin now..