~let it be easy~

30/9/09

2009-09-30T08:33:00.000-07:00

dearest blog,
something happened in dept today which keep running thru my mind....

the story goes:
the nite staff passed a case to me which stated PSY with suicidal tots (she nearly jump last nite according to the son). i transfered this pt with her son to the CC area and inform the staff there to noted this case... half an hour later, the pt walked out of the CC area without her son to the Reception area (the area where ambulance bought in cases)where i was station at. I dunno what came into my mind at this point when i stopped her... she pushed me away and started to run down the slope. i gave chase... despite she is 3x bigger my side, luckily for me, Yap( PCA, Male) and her son came to my rescue....

we struggled with her for 30mins under the hot sun at the slope... given her strength, wat worried me most is the outcome if either one of us rolled down the slope... i cant take it anymore, i ordered Yap to bring a trolley with restrainers and manpower as i cant possible leave yap( male) with a female pt.

When the trolley came, she started to crying again... i dunno if i make the correct decision with the trolley n restrainers! but somehow or rather, we manage to carry her to the trolley and pin her down and was restrained. During this period, i was grabbed by her by the collar, but managed to pull away before something happened.

After we transfer her back to CC, we went for our break, Yap, ong and me... it was then i realise that i sustrain cuts to my fingers while handling her... but was rather happy that we managed her...

Nevertheless, one life saved!!! i happened to the one to transfer her to IMH... with yap.. luckily for us, she has calm down but she does not know that she is going IMH... what happened if she know where she is now?

Some questions that present in my mind now...
*what will happened if she run across the busy road???
*what happened if i didnt stopped her???
*wat happened if someone rolled down the slope??
*what happened if she get to know her whereabout?

serious decision

2009-04-04T22:22:00.000-07:00

dearest blog,

i had make a serious decision in my life that is to accept aeron dear dear's propose. I will be having my ROM on the 27/9/o9. All these while with him has been a wonderful one. with him around, everything seem to be so nice... Am i ready for it? i think.. i guess... i am...

Gown.. venue.. rings.. families.. friends.. decorations..

everything little small things has been place into consideration..

long hours of internets and phones searching.. tired me out every single day..

Many thanks to have you by my side to guide and accompany me..

i believe our ROM will be a great one..

alrite as for now, ROM aside.. Assignment is due on the 14/4/09.. gotta rush again..

happy day....

2008-11-09T21:35:00.000-08:00

dearest blog,
i am feeling rather happy now. just gotten a letter from SIM stated that i had been accepted to the school. after a long wait, the answer is finally here!!! when kin lee told me that she received it on sat morning, my heart sank as i did not received. Maybe the postman decided to take a break and make me worry for the whole sunday... OMG!!!!

everything is going fine and stable now.. it will be and it MUST be as i cant afford to lost!

...triage course...
the test will be this coming thursday in dept.. i know it will be a sure pass test but i want to be one of the best scorer in the class... oh ya.. sn yan ping is also in the class but due to 1 day mc she took during the course day, she is OOC.. poor ger, she has to join the next batch of class.. way to go ger!!!!

...taiwan trip...
my taiwan trip will be on the 17 nov 2008 which is 6 more days from now!! so excited!! it is a short trip but i am sure we will enjoy it. hee.... are u excited too??? well, we will be back in time to celebrate ur birthday in singapore with ur piggy friends.. i already "book" them on that day and going to book the dinner place this friday.. all these will be all handle by me.. hee.. just cant wait to see the shock face of urself... cheers...

gtg... got a date with my hairdresser today..

kingfisher exercise 2008 and triage course

2008-10-09T23:10:00.000-07:00

tmr will be the day for the kingfisher exercise 2008. this is the first time i am involve in this big event for the SGH. yes! Not everyone in the dept is involved! not only we had to accept the normal regular pt that we receiced everyday but also another 200+ pt from NUS,NYP and the acting personnal of the public.

everyone is so excited about it.. cant help it.. however, i still on MC till today. received many concern calls as i am holding one of the big post tmr which required me to be around. but can i hold up to it? still having the irritating headache this morning.. it just come and goes... what should i do???

after missing from work for 2 days. i also received a good news that i am involved in the upcoming triage course that i always looking forward to it. Really cant wait to go for it... best of all, alot of my buddies are selected too, such as SN Ong S.W and SN Chan K. L.. but is Sn Wu Y.P involved? i hope she is.. if so.. then it will be even cool... hahaha....

really looking forward to tmr. hopefully, it is a good day..

cheers
eileen

a patient tot..

2008-10-08T20:45:00.000-07:00

dearest blog..
i should be working morning shift rite now if the headache does not occur yesterday during afternoon shift. The pain that i had was so severe that my tears just roll down my cheeks. Wanna endure to the end of the shift till i can go home to rest, however, yan ping who knew wat happen, took my employee card to register.

lying on the trolley, now i know how my patients feel. very pain of the headache+ a bit of discomfort due to the trolley(unlike our bed) + kinda of pai sai. Although i know they will bring me to the obs ward like all pt, i did not expect them to push me around the dept like wat they did to me yesterday, oh boy, it is really pai sai.. will get back to others who ill treat me yesterday but not forgetting the good ones.

i was suppose to be obs for 1 hr after the med but i vomitted out, therefore, was given IM stemetil instead. Ouch, THE JAB IS ON THE BUTT!!! but thanks to the jab, i am able to be discharge. haha.. wat a experience i had.

but i really wish not to lie down on that trolley again...

many thanks to those who took care of me esp U.. who always be there for me when i need u.. :)

eileen

a cry of joy, angry and tiredness

2008-07-08T01:49:00.000-07:00

dearest blog,
one good news to share with everyone out there!!!!
i have been promoted to Staff Nurse 1 with the effect of 1 july 2008... so proud of it.. and best of all i am one of the few that too the promotion letter from the ADN quek... (ont many pl have the chance to take it from here.. heee

upcoming up next will be the JCI.. which will be starting in 14 july.. every one is stress up.. cleaning, stupid questions to answer, tidiness, rearranging of stuff and many more. plus on top of our regular workload that everyone alr has... just because of the renew of the JCI!!!! it so unfair!!! i think i am unlucky.. 14 july on shift (9-4.30) high risk group..arrggggg.......

gtg.. need some rest.. headache!!!!

peaceful life

2008-06-26T06:07:00.000-07:00

dearest blog,
once again i am in here to update again.

recently just get my bonus but not that much la.. haha..
went to get and reward myself with a new lap top ($1499) at the PC show last 2 weeks ago.. cool rite.. now i got more space compare to my big big desktop. hee.. not only that, i too get four turtles in my room... they are so cute.. but wake me up everyday with the marbles that i place it with them.. so naughty but cute..

well, was not really in a good mood yesterday becos of a young boy. shall not talk much on the case but what i can say that the family and the friends will have a hard time. but i believe the hospital will have some support provided to them for the next few days.

according to the last blog,
he has not return to her yet. or should i say he has not make up his mind?
i dunno but one thing i know is that he is the reason now she and me are even closer than before. she did tell me the reason but does not want me to tell my parents. i having a hard time to handle them. there is once i really wanted to tell my mum as they keep guessin but somehow or rather i did not cos i dun wish to let my sister get more talkin from my parents, i believe she wants some rest and time off.... may god bless her

shall stop here alr.
time to clean and feed my 4 babies.
cheers
eileen

is it true?

2008-06-17T09:31:00.001-07:00

dear blog,
i just return home from genting trip.
but when i just reached home, i heard of a shocking news.

MY SIS AND BONG HAS END!

8 years of relationship just gone like that? i dun believe it. i went into her room to have a long talk with her then i get to know the truth is because of a ger! AND WORSE! the ger is 31 YEARS OLD and is bong's MANAGER!!! i cried with her in the room....

when she asked me whether will he come back... i really got nutthin to tell her... but somehow or rather i feel it is 50 50 percent. i believe he too need some time for all these...

i also know the both of them(bong and sis) has plan something alr.
such as: 1. bangkok trip in 2 weeks time
2. night sarf. in 28/6/08 (after his reserves)
3. bong's birthday
4. their new creation chocolate cheese cake

BUT most imptly is :

WILL HE COME BACK????

lazy blog

2008-05-16T00:34:00.000-07:00

Dearest blog,
just happen to log in today to update some new songs in my ipod and then to here. found out that my last update on u is on the march! that so long long ago! well.. that is only one word to describle it "LAZY"...

~work~
just finish my nite shift once again.. sitting at home in a corner of my room relaxin with some music on.. too tired to think or move... actually, i do enjoy my nite this time round, i get to know more about my seniors. We had lots lots of fun, teasing and disturbing each other.. cos of some particular reason(only ppl on nite shift on 12,13,14 knew)

*khee khee and li hoon.. i will remember how u two scare me by offin the light in the resus room! i will get my turn on u too..*

time to go out, shall update again..
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

dept is no longer the same?

2008-03-14T01:43:00.000-07:00

dearest blog,

finally finish my nite for this week, which mean my AL is coming.. hurray! one week break from work.. haha... Nowadays after CNY, dept is no longer a fun place to be at.. more and more pt comin in and staffs among each others are quarreling over small issue as more demands from the heads and public!

one incident: i am the P3 nurse on the last nite, the doc assigned to me is good but kinda of slow as he really go into detail of his pt, i am not saying that he is wrong but the waiting time is far to long for the P3... THE CLOCK WAS SHOWING 3 O'CLOCK AND THE 12 O'CLOCK PT WAS NOT SEEN YET! of cos, i will be stress! can u imagine the pt outside the waiting area questioning u! and worse, that nite, one of the regular is back! making a fool of himself, shouting and screamin at me! not only that, i really wonder when is the last time he had himself shower!

alrite back to the story, (pls bear in mind that the person i had quarrelled with is not the doc), as we all know that once we merge the P3 cases into the critical care, no number will be issue to the pt, but the P3 nurse or the doc himself will come out to the waiting area to call the pt into the critical care. THE PROBLEM IS: the P3 nurse is not the first person to see the pt, is the triage nurse outside! that nite,as usual, i went to called the pt 1 but there is no response from him.. so i called pt 2.. (when the P3 nurse called the pt, there is no reply, the next pt will be called and a try again call will be done later for the missed pt(3x only)) The next thing i know, the triage nurse stormed in and shouted into my face "U dun anyhow write no response! pt is outside sleeping and he is scolding me outside!" i, wasnt in the good mood after hearing it, shouted back at her that "how i know if he is sleeping or not! i did my job by calling him."

no point quarrellin with her(SEN) BUT I CAN TELL U, MY FACE IS DAMN BLACK THAN THE CHARCOAL.. i walked away.. from where i am standing, i could still hear her complaining to another staff nurse, haha... she must be insane! whoever hear, of cos, support me la! pt sleeping also not my fault.. i did went out to called him and worse, the doc himself is the one to write NR and called the pt too..

anyway, when my partner is back from her break, she quietly ask me wat happen and i told her, she is shocked to see me in this manner, usually i always appear with a smile on my face but that nite is as black as charcoal... ( both she and her are good friends) after telling her, i feel better!

the next moment, i know she came to say sorry to me! i was shocked but i told her is ok.. i walked away as i still need sometime off..

second story..
our senior sister is now lying on the hospital bed, fighting against cancer cells and pain from the fracture! she had a fall in the dept and then she found out that she had ca breast.. it is so hard for everyone of us to take it.. when we visited her yesterday, she could not even sit up straight! just 2 mths ago, she is standing there, teaching us Basic ECG, but now?

my heart really goes out to her, unlike the other sisters, she is one that i really respect as she really put herself in the junior shoes to think and work things out with us...

To Sister Teo,
may god and health be with u again! we really missed ur laughter in the dept and the motivation that you always had in u to keep us going..Pls PLs pLs.. get well soon!!!

wedding on the 8/3/08

2008-03-14T01:28:00.000-07:00

Dearest blog,

Our Chong LiLi is finally married on the 8 of march this year! so surprise when i first receive the invitation card. They used to say that "Ai Ya, where got so fast".. haha, now we know they want to give all of us a surprise. anyway, the whole group of us(the SJAB) were late as that day was our zone 6 first aid com! Well, she too, from sjab, so she knew that sjab ppl from our side wont be early anyway. haha..

MAY HAPPINESS BE WITH U AND LAO DA FOREVER.. CHEERS!

coming up next this year, will have 2 more wedding!
1. alan and his future wife^sorri,cant remember her name^(oct)
2.mary and lao lao da (nov)

EiLeEn Is In pAIn!!!!!!!

2008-02-26T00:20:00.001-08:00

dear blog..
i am now currently in pain.. the LA went off in a couple of hours ago.. the pain is so unbearable.. but i know if i dun remove it.. more trouble will come.. the wisdom tooth definitely hurt more than this if i dun remove it..

help... help.. i need more LA...arggggg....

how i wish that you can beside me rite now.. under ur care, i believe the pain will be lesser.. where are you? pls come back to me.. i really need you by my side now..

11/1/08

2008-01-10T21:03:00.000-08:00

dearest blog,
how do u spent ur 31/12/07? a common question which i faced and asked alot of my friends.. this year i miss the crowds, the countin down in town and the full 10 mins fireworks. Not because i dun want to go but is that i got to work the nite shift. Was kinda of disappointed and sad, not the just that got to work but the bad memories of 31/12/06 flow into my mind.. watever it is, it has alr past.. wat can i say or do..

1/1/08 is my sleepin day, instead of going home to sleep.. thanks for accompany me to sentosa... i really love the beach .. lying there, sun tannin, chatting, ppl watch and more.. so much of tiredness are forgotten.. let do it again.. hahaha

plan for 2008?
1. complete my basic ecg course (one of the 10 selected in the dept to attend)
2. triage course(hope to complete by this year)
3. spent more time with long lost friends
4. save and earn more money for my degree (plannin in progress)

alrite.. shall stop here le..
gotta go wash up to go out..

signin out
eileen

nov 2007

2007-11-13T21:05:00.000-08:00

dearest blog,

counting down the no. of days to dec.. cant wait for the calander to turn to 2 dec 2007 as it will be the day i am going genting with u, grandpa chen and Yuan jie.. cant wait to leave this place..

For me, life has not longer be fun anymore... work, sleep and eat.. nothing special unlike school days.. always lookin forward to off days when i can enjoy going out with u and the rest.. went to watch the "born to bee wild" with u, the father bee told the younger bee who has just grad from the school to choose his job carefully as once he choose, it will be a life time job.. it seem so for many of us in singapore... do i really choose the rite job? i like my working place but if i were to work there for my rest of my life.. will i be able to do it? i really dunno... maybe if i got a family to take care in future, i will learn from my seniors... to transfer to other dept like the SOC.. where i can work office hours.. and can have weekend off... cool rite?

after workin in the dept for the past 5 mths.. i know just having diploma is not enough.. therefore, i intend to take up part time degree next year with rong rong as we need to gain working experience first.. talk to u last nite, thanks for the support! i know u wont reject me in that de cos u always encourage me to study.. wee.. so happy!!!

not in the very good mood recently as i get to know that the PSP that my bro, leeson, borrowed from us has been stolen... i admit that i am both angry and disappointed...
angry--> cos everything inside is gone.. all the hard work that u make for me.. is all gone..
--> my bro lie to me that it is still in the house when it has alr kanna stolen in school.. he dare not tell us as he know that we will scold him..

disappointed --> disappointed with my bro in all his action.. i know he will pay us back a new set with his money but... everything wont be the same anymore.. dun he understand?

i know how u feel that night when u sms me... i do have the same feeling even until now.. so much that i keep cryin even with u ard me.. it really hurt me badly.. i promise not to lend it to my bro anymore... that it.. no using our PSP from now onward!

ur birthday is coming soon really dunno what to get u this year.. haiz... so headache..

superwoman?

2007-08-22T01:21:00.000-07:00

dearest blog,
August is coming to the end soon, my checklist is yet to complete! how? everyday is busy, where got the time for us to get sisters to ascess us? they always not around!!! watever la.. still got sept to do it.. hope to finish it soon.. cant help thinking about it...

wat am i doing here? wait a min, i am not on MC but on nite shift today so it still kinda of early to go out now.. will get myself prepare later ba and will meet u for dinner before i go work.. that the promise rite? Talkin about nite shift, thank god sue is willingly to change with me.. that will allow me to have my weekend off.. haha..

but is that really off day for me?
1.wed to thur( 9-7.30)
2.thur-fri(9-7.30)
3.but fri, i promise to go collect ur new car at ubi.. then later in the evening got family photo taking at IMM.. then to work till Sat(9- 7.30)
4. Sat after work got zone 6 presentation day training at BHSS...

omg.. can i take it?
well,i am still young! go for it:)

super xin

MC.. gastric pro?

2007-08-05T21:56:00.001-07:00

Dear blog..
why am i doing at home at this moment when i know i am suppose to be on morning shift? haha.. tha answer can only be one! i am on MC!!! had a terrible nite yesterday.. diarrhoea, vomittin and stomache.. all come at the same time.. hardly had enough sleep therefore decided to see a doc.. but the doc say is gastric problem? how can that be? well, watever it is, just grab this day to have a good rest..

hey hey hey, i didnt forget u! thanks for accompanyin me to the doc today.. really touched but is it due to the food that we ate yesterday? if so how come i get it only.. the rest of u guys didnt??? arrg...

NDP is coming... fireworks will be the highlight of the day.. anyone interested to catch it with me????

~sick xin~

2007-07-23T04:10:00.000-07:00

Dearest blog,
it has been a long time since i last update on you..

~work~
my appeal has successfully approved on the 9/7/07 by ADN mdm tan.. thanks for listening to me and understand me..i will not let you down and will move towards my aim and goals.. once again many thanks to all the followin who are there for me at that period of painful time..
1. Aeron (thanks for lending me your shoulder.. oops.. i wet your shirt? sorrie...)
2. Qing Wei (thanks for lending me your hearin ear)
3. Hema, Sara, Xuan and latha (thanks for being there for me)

by the way, i have alr change into scub suit just like the staff in DEM.. everyday is a challenging day but life is really weak i could say.. pls do enjoy every moment.. :)

~grad~
yes yes yes... i grad from NYP le.. that day was a tiring day as i got work in the morning.. it was kinda of silly as i could see alot of us has alr fallen asleep due to the tired long day at work but wat to do.. we are being paid!!!! do take a look at my pic...

signing out
SN eileen ng

everything is coming...

2007-06-10T23:31:00.000-07:00

Dearest blog,

i cant really describe my feeling to u rite now.. everything seem to be very tense up! izzit because 18 june 07 and 4 july 07 are coming? i know there are many supporters behind me but i have to go thru it myself.. be strong Eileen!

18 june 07 will be the day i am going to dress up in green uniform and to report to SGH.. and it is just one more week away from now.. will i be able to cope? i guess i will only get to know this answer when i start work.. really hope to get into DEM dept! **will get to know on the first day of work**

4 july 07 will be the day i am going to grad from NYP with my grad. gown on.. cool izzit? everyone has been looking forward for this very day.. haha..**excited mode**

anyway, i had dye my hair.. no longer black.. well, will have to stop SJAB activities for the time being due to hair colour.. haha.. what type of officer am i?

signing out..
eileen

Otc camp 07

2007-05-28T21:38:00.000-07:00

Dearest blog,

has been busy with many things currently that y has not been updating u with stuff.. let me tell u slowly...

~work...SN~

everything seem to have confirm currently from all admin stuff to medical checkup and uniform taking.. right now is to stop and wait for the calender to turn to 18 june 07 :)

~OTC 07~

OTC 07 camp has come to the end from 26 may to 28 may 07 at Hometeam NS @ bukit batok.. near CDANS.. this camp i should say was not properly plan, evetything seem to be last min.. but was glad that everything turn out well..

The hike on the first day is a really challenge for everyone.. 13 hours of walk from campsite to places like bb nature park, little gulin, bukit timah hill and many others.. after the long hike, the committee(males only-->alr finish or still in NS.. females back to camp to settle tents) bring the whole course to have their "waking up" session.. this session is the session which every OTC has to go thru! it required teamwork from everyone in the course.. things we(trainers) wants to see.. walking in steps without timing but we want to have cheers, no one givin up with trainers by the side say "y do this to urself, give up now and everything has end!" haha.. i been thru it that y i know how they feel..

One mistake which i think the committee has make is that they send all females trainers(7 of us only) back to the campsite.. As appointed to be safely female officer for this camp, i decided to follow the ambulance back to the area.. upon reaching there, there are alr 5 sick chickens waiting for me to attend, the male safely officer was glad to see me there! haha.. i knew he need me!!!!

feelings--> sitting down here, recalling and writing some feedback on the trainees under me(OSCAR).. should i pass this trainee or should i fail this trainee? well.. their future is in my hands, be fair Eileen.. as for best trainee.. well, u and i know it well.. izzit?

alrite.. have upload some of the pic.. do enjoy!!!!

sign off

~tired xin~

~important dates to note~

2007-05-07T07:52:00.000-07:00

Dearest blog,
~recieve the letter for some dates to SGH..~
1. 10 may 2007--> medical check up (arrg.. can i skip blood test? i hate the needles.. arrg!! wish u are there with me)

2. 11 may 2007--> uniform collection (haha.. finally get my green uniform)

3. 14 May 2007-->briefin on employment terms and documentation

lookin forward to get the uniform but nOt the medical check up.. haha

**what i want now, may not be easy to get or achieve.. but i believe that if i work hard for it,the chance will be there..**

signin out
xin
~miss u badly~

~feeling and tots~

2007-05-03T08:20:00.000-07:00

Dearest Blog,
the long waiting 4/5/07 is finally here.. why so high and happy about this special day? Cos it is our last day of our PRCP!!! weee... i will always remember this sentence which my CI say"everyone will pass but whether will we become a good nurse in the future or Not.. is it still a big question mark till now.."well... Good nurse? 2 simple words but not easy to obtain.. all i can to myself is "i will do my very best in work.."

SN Eileen Ng? i like that.. haha.. with effect from 18 june 2007.. ~looking forward~

enough of PRCP and working stuff.. let me update abit on my life!!

1. congratulate and best regards to Jin Li and Howard.. receive ur wedding invitation today! sure to attend de.. wont forget how u two teach me in my SJAB officer life (trainin me to be wat i am today.. thanks for all the coachin..)

2. Love life? dunno how to describe the feeling.. let fate take its course ba..

3. many thanks to all A & E staffs who teaches me alot in these short 6 weeks..

4. Lastly,not forgetting u! thanks for the support and encouragement u give me.. even a simple sms from u.. brighten up my day! thanks....

signin out
xin
future a & e staff
~currently missin and thinkin of u~

mid PRCP update

2007-04-19T05:44:00.000-07:00

Dear blog,
coming to the end of the fourth week of PRCP.. things are still going smoothly but somehow, i feeling quite drain out.. esp every mon! Pls dun get me wrong here.. is not monday blue but is the flow of the patients!!! it is double of other days.. well, such things are beyond our control rite.. just accept the fact ba..~haha~

met up with the asst. director of nursing n director of nursing of SGH in 2 days separately...
-->Asst. director of nursing actually sit down with the PRCP students of DEM(we r the special lot as we r the first batch to be posted there for PRCP.. everyone is looking at us!) we voice out the problems that we are facing in DEM.. wow, seem like alot in our list.. ~haha.. is we eat snake, that why talk so much rite? nonono.. not like tat de!!!~
--> director of nursing show us the new Singhealth uniform.. Not bad!! very nice.. oh ya, she too bring up our starting date which is on the 18th june 2007..

Will be getting 3 different types of uniform
1. Green SGH uniform(old design)
2. White SGH uniform(new design)
3. blue Srub suit(Dept of Emergency Medicine)

Looking forward to 18th june 2007...
friends of NR0403, we may be separate to different areas to take care of the sick but always remember that we are there for our patients.. only we can make a big different in their life.. Nv forget the reason why we join nursing at the first place and the self joy in us when we see our patients walk out of the hospital with a big smile on their face.. maintain our "high" spirit!!!!

Many thanks for the encouragement...

signing off
DEM nurse to be~xin~
~currently thinkin of you and my future~

2/4/07

2007-04-02T09:10:00.000-07:00

Dearest blog,
it has been a long time since i last update..been very busy since attachment start..let me update u guys....

~PRCP~
well... we always tot that PRCP is a scary 4 letters words but somehow, i guess everyone of us r copin fine. As for me, A & E is a real challenge as u will nv know who or wat will come in the front door, waitin for u..haha.. sound scary? but tat is wat i am facing currently... so many paper work to learn, so many skills to perform and always on the move, no time to rest! (been missing my break time too..skippin meals!)

i began to like this workin place.. lookin forward to become green(oops, it blue actually..a&e nurse wear srub suit) cant wait for 5 weeks to end..haha..

~SJAB... Zone? OTC?~
We alr expected this to happen,but nv expect it to be such a big issue.. shall not mention to much in here... wat i can say is "we will stick to brotherhood n upright, know wat is right n wrong..make our own decision.." oh god(if there is one!) pls help these special 5(i am one of them) get out of this mess!!! dun let the old generation hurt the young generation! watever it is, i believe in doing our part can le.. the rest is not up to us to decide!

Encouragement is all we need now!!!!

hey hey hey.. i will be the duty officer this weekend! will have to take control of 100 ppl..:)

~just for relaxation~
PERCEPTIONS

Girls drink to think back about the guy
Guys drink to forget about the girl

When girls are in love, they become pretty
When guys are in love, they become poor

Girls can forgive but cannot forget
Guys can forget but cannot forgive

Girls care the most about the quality of love
Guys care the most about the quantity of love

Girls break-up when they feel the feeling of separation from her man
Guys break-up when they feel love from another girl

Girls feel curiosity towards guys who are interested in her
Guys feel curiosity towards all girls

When girls are heartbroken, they try to find his characteristics from another guy
When guys are heartbroken, they try to forget about the girl by going out with another girl

Girls wish to be his last loveGuys wish to be her first love
Women are nothing but trouble Men are nothing but trouble seekers

haha.. Qing wei.. i took copy from ur blog cos i find it interesting and would like to share it with everyone.. hope u dun mind! if u do, charge those who read!!!!

signing out
xin
~sleepy mode~

"pre-PRCP symptom"

2007-03-22T05:13:00.000-07:00

Dear Blog,
after weeks and weeks of long waiting,the PRCP attachment venue and time is finally out.. it was a painful period of time when everyone alr know where they are going execpt for SGH students, i guess there are too many of us that why there is a delay in releasing the depts.. nevertheless, it is FINALLY out!

where will i be going?
Ans: A & E(very first batch to go there for PRCP!)

Am i happy?
Ans: Yes (It is one of my choice!!!)
No (my usual attachment group are not with me! losin them days after days!)

Well, frankly speaking, my feeling are really hard to describe now and i finally understand the real meaning of "pre-PRCP symptom"...Lets just state that every student nurses have to go thru this phase.. i learnt something new today and would wish to share it with everyone: "If i could survive this time round, i would become stronger the next time round"

To all my nursin friends who happen to be reading now, for the next 6 weeks, things may not go well as wat we expected and we do not have each other to encourage at the end of the day but bear in mind, we have come so far and the path to success is just 6 weeks away! hang on it there! be stronger and get survive this time round!

signing out
Xin
~encouragement is all i need now~

~otc~exam~300~

2007-03-20T04:34:00.000-07:00

Dear blog,

~OTC~

Last sunday(18/3/07) was the second theoy phase for the otc. We, as instructors, had so much fun in the brigade room.. all these began with Yau Leung sir(Our DM for o3 batch:my batch) who bring out the 03 OTC pictures with our innocent faces in it.. well, at least it brighten up everyones' day rite? haha..

Looking at the trainees during PT time, i cant help but think back of my days in OTC as a trainee.. the days was really tough for me back then, heavy loads such as O level(SARS period), OTC(1 year due to SARS), parents, Corp.. thank god, i manage to survive in the tough trainin and passed out successfully to be an officer.. alrite back to the current trainees, should i say it wasnt their luck ba.. this year committee are make up of mostly guys(pls note that most of the guys here are train in OCS in army!!!) with just 7 females instructors.. the PT was really a 'killer" one! from where i was standing, i could see all the sufferin faces in the trainees.. omg, i feel like i am in the army man.. even the guys are shiverin from the PT, can u imagin the gers doin the same things?

Well, i must say that this PT is not a bully session but our aim is to train them physically and the most importantly is to bring them close as a course.. want them to encourage each other (just like my batch) and i believe we do achieve wat we want!!! way to go.. committee!~

~Exam~

Omg! this sems only got two paper but this 2 paper seem to be killin me alot.. have been eatin alot of chocolate to keep me going.. help... ~tough time dun last, tough man do!!! will always remember this! thanks alot Yau Leung sir!~

~300~

went to catch 300 with kelvin last sat.. although it was a super bloody show.. somehow or rather i do enjoy the show, ya.. i agree all guys should watch this!!! thanks mates for promotin this show to me.. :)

Alrite shall stop here now!

Signin out

Xin

(~Study Mode~)

busy weekend

2007-03-12T06:11:00.000-07:00

Dearest blog,
i finally find back the feelin which i kinda of lost for sjab.. let me explain..
First aid competition is always the busiest event for Zone 6.. this year is no different(esp all junior involve and the chairman is a ger from my batch..more work to do!) as usual, last min work and arrangement is required.. this also include walkin from HQ to bugis(we walked total of 3x man... to n fro..) and that day we stayed in HQ till 2am.. wait a min, the bonding and the hardwork did help me find back the feelin.. izzit? well.. somehow or rather, i feel it is worth man..
~Win a goal to all committee members!~

But overall, this weekend was really a tiring one:
fri--> stayed in HQ till 2am(last min work and arrangement required)
Sat--> First aid com( wake up @7.30am, 9am-7pm, reach home @ 11pm,slept @2am to prepare for otc tmr)
sun--> OTC (wake up at 5.30am, 7.30am-7pm, fall into coma when reach home @ 11pm)

BUT, i enjoyed what i am going thru even with the nick call "ms panda" haha..

Got injury this time round, went back home with a swollen n painful ankle.. dunno what is the cause of it! didnt fall or sprain it.. just turn out to be swollen and painful! arrg.. bed and home bound for next few days.. ~help~

well, there are also disappointment that i am facin durin the weekend.. shall not talk much in here.. but i choose to believe that u guys dun meant to hurt me but just that u guys dunno how to tell me..

gotta study... exam next week..

Xin
~in pain..~

~Last week of school~emotional week?

2007-03-08T07:48:00.000-08:00

Dearest blog,

Sittin here, in front in my com, thinking of the events that had happened for the past few days.. everything seem to be moving very fast.. esp when the tot of leaving school and entering working life(3 yrs pass so fast!) Everyone seem to be so emotional in school.. photos taking everywhere.. hugging and many more.. i hate this feeling alot, but what can i do? when the clock turn 11am tommorow.. our school life is over and all of us will be going to the respective hospital for our PRCP..

shall not be emotional in here.. :)

BUT that is not going to be the end of my education journey!!! i do make plans for my future!

1. Upon grad, work in SGH for the next 3 yrs.. (to gain experience)

2. Go oversea to take my degree with Hema!

3. Come back to SGH and be clinical instructor..(will go for education line..)

Lastly before i end this update, i would like to say some words to the following:

~Zhong Lie~

Sorry that i didnt go down to visit you due to exam and sjab events.. hope u get well soon.. (the op is a great success, dont worry!) oh ya, i promise that i will go plan the dinner gathering once u discharge.. vegetarian steamboat?(we promise to go last yr remember?) well.. just leave it to me!

~NR0403~

If u guys(NR0403) are reading my blog rite now(KPO!haha), i do like to wish u guys a bright future ahead.. No matter how our future will be like, hang on in there! the best is yet to come.. i believe strongly that our dreams of becoming WARD SISTERS, CLINICAL INSTRUCTORS(me.. me.. me!!!) and others will all come true!!! Take care to all..

signin

Xin (hungry.. forget to eat dinner again)

Do i really change?

2007-02-26T04:55:00.000-08:00

Some of the common questions and words i get:
1. Is there something bothering u?
2. Is everything fine for u?
3. No matter what happened in the past, is all over.. dun think too much..
4. U seem to have lost ur smile.. No longer the cheerful ger that i used to know...
5. U seem to be gettin thinner n thinner...
6. walkin zombie?

Well, do i really change?
Yes? No? Maybe? i dunno..
all i know is that--> i no longer enjoy what i used to like.. and i do agree that i have lost the smile in me!

i been trying very hard to forget the past and find back my smile.. but a call from Jeremy has proved to me that it gotta take a very long time.. Well, i really wonder how long too.. i hate what i am going thru rite now..

PLS PLS PLS.. let me get over it soon..

at the same time, i wish to say 'sorry' to mr A n mr W.. what i can say to u both is that i am not ready for another relationship at the moment and we dun suit each other, i do hope that u guys understand.. most importantly, i dun wish to let it affect our work in OTC 2007.. sorry once again.. may u guys find ur true love..

signin off
xin (in deep tots..)

Chinese New Year 2007

2007-02-21T03:24:00.000-08:00

Let me update on my movement this CNY..

Eve? after the buffet, we played mahjong till 4am

First day? went to my grandma's place lor.. as usual! haha.. But this year, i got more income! haha.. dun say i bluff small kids(sec 4 and above) money leh.. well, i should say my luck is better this year ba.. Someone has to keep the ball rolling, being the oldest among them, so no choice but to be the banker(blackjack).. wait a min! what about Ah hor? he seem to be much much older than me! haha.. okok.. i admit i won $154 that morning.. but i gave half of it to my younger bro.. surprise? nah, he help me in collecting n giving money.. haha.. i got no pocket ma..

this year PIG lucky animal is... TIGER!! wee... my house got so many pigs and tigers...

Sister n younger bro (PIGS!) Mother n me (TIGERS!)

Second day? went to temple in the morning then to KTV with Sjab friends @ cine.. this time round KTV session wasnt with the normal clique.. new ppl like alan! so gan tong! he waited for me at summerset MRT station for 1 hour plus.. well, i realise that SJAB ppl nv seem to be on time when there is no event.. haha.. does that include me?

During Dinner time, Jin li and howard joined us.. well, i seem to be joining the wrong group of ppl tat day.. no interesting topic execpt marriage and houses! Jin li and howard, mary and Gary, Stella and her BF (3 pairs) getting marry this year.. june and july.. wee..must start to plan the attire le.. haha... so happy to see my friends "xin fu".. when ask: "what is my ideal age to get marry?" i just answer with a smile.. " how to get marry when there is no one beside me?"

We too went to view Jin li and howard new home! so envy..

third day? My secondary school mates r out at my place(tigger gathering) i think this year, i lost count! most of them bought their girlfriends.. think about 24? but they cant believe that i am single.. haha.. after so long when we last met..nvm, something cant be rush, and i know if i do so, that is not the one i really want..well, let fate play its part ba.. after all, this year FEMALE TIGERs r will have alot of love stories happening.. haha.. we shall see if this is true! i hope to find a long lasting de..

good time end fast..but will be meetin them again this sat(Ade's 21st birthday!)

Alrite, days of slacking is over, time to start back on the 3 projects again and this sunday onward, will be tied down by officers course and nursing dept stuff.. Yawn..

signing off

Xin

(hungry mode)

Chinese New Year Eve~17/2/07~

2007-02-16T21:44:00.000-08:00

What am i doing in here at this time? Well, taking some time off my projects to update my blog and of cos to eat some "snake"..Really wonder how this year new year will be? same as before? well, i dunno that for sure.. This year there wont be any steamboat tonight, we have change to muslim buffet instead cos every year the preparation, cutting, set up and washing make everyone busy and headache! Wee.. i think i getting lazier and lazier.. haha

Last night, i was dragged by my mum to Jurong west market(family business there).. so packed and crowded! but despite the heavy flow of ppl, no matter where we go, there will be my family members all around! (we rulezzz jurong west?) my sister's boyfriend who live in jurong area was told by my sister that :"u beta be careful! i got alot of spy in here!" haha.. this make us laugh till ache.. u should have seen his face! We went to my grandma place @ 1130pm.. As usual, ah ma was there to start the Q & A session (haha).. nothing much to comment in here execpt that i must be mentally and physically prepared for the actual day! more KPO aunties and uncles will be there.. ~pls DNR me!~

When i reached home about 12 plus, i was surprised to receive msg from Kelvin in MSN, ever since that day i ask him to read my blog, he seem to disppear! but i must state clear that i got no special intention of askin him to read! just that i want him to know that it is alr in the past, we must let go so as to move on and i dun wish to lose him as a friend! back to the topic, he told me that his relatives keep askin him where am i.. haha.. i really wonder what he reply but he does not want to share leh.. This is the different btw him and ahmad! ahmad wont keep things away from me.. cos ahmad know it wont affect me and i will definitely make fun out of it.. well, i guess he must have his reasons for not sharing it..nvm, it ok.. He also mention that my family members must be hating him rite now.. if u r reading rite now, i can reassure u that they dun, cos i didnt spoilt the impression u left for them, what is the point of point fingers at who is at fault? (at time i really feel that my thinking is really different from others.. haha.. maybe i dun wish to see more ppl get hurt or what ba..)

shall end here le ba.. got so many things to prepare for tmr such as preparing my two black n white dresses and many more..

~back to projects working~
Xin
14.17 hrs

Am i up to Something?

2007-02-13T07:13:00.000-08:00

Am i up to something?

Yes Yes Yes.. definitely! 14 feb 2007 (V day) but it will going to be friendship day for us.. has been thinking hard about what should i do or buy for them for the past few days... thanks to Stephanie who give me an idea of using the springe as we r nurses to be and it is something which we use everyday..

Many memories and tots flow into my mind while doing it.. 3 yrs seem to be passing so fast, in 1 mth plus we r all going for our PRCP then separate ways i think..i will really treasure these few mths with the rest and my PRCP period with my attachment clique..

Dates? yes.. i am admit.. i did received a number of calls from different kind of guys.. i mean in characters.. So funny.. alot of unexpected call from unexpected ppl.. but somehow i manage to turn down but only one which i am left in confuse state.. i shall not name this person for to protect his identify.. haha.. he knows me too well prehaps and "why is he dating me out tmr? V day? kinda of weird rite? the best part is he mention abt flower, dinner, movie, cakes and etc!" how can one not think too much and be normal? well.. shall not bother n be who i am.. cheers

alrite.. shall stop now le.. super tired..slept at 3am yesterday.. yawn.. shall "chiong" for 3 more projects

signing off

xin

~My worries~SJAB, PRCP, Workin life

2007-02-06T05:12:00.000-08:00

Everyone in this world has their own worries.. of cos, i am not excluded in this area too..
This year is indeed going to be a tough yr for me.. challenging in fact..

~Counting down the days to PRCP..~1 mth plus left!~
1. Dunno where school will post me to for PRCP?
2.which Ward?
3.who is my Preceptor?
4. where will the rest of them(my attachment mates) go? all separated?
5. Will i be able to cope well in PRCP?
6. What will my future be? i want to go into education line.. be a CI?

~SJAB~
1.corp?
-->Got promoted last year to zone staff officer G5 but seem like got to hold on the corp until this current batch of trainees successfully make it as officers.. (i dun seem to enjoy corps stuff anymore!)

2.Zone? 2 depts to look into (education and nursing dept)
--> Education
seem to be more relax compare to welfare.. BUT, can u feel trouble is on the way? CPR cum AED for TIC & officers is on the 24/3/07.. nutting is out yet.. this is suppose to be head by education(me) n medical(hui) but we got no time to do! to make thing worse! it is highlight in the zone calander.. well, shall keep our fingers cross this time round.. ~praying in the process~

--> Nursing
This yr nursing board is out for challenge! y do i say that? cos we are targetting on non-sjab members to attend home nursing courses conducted by various nurses in my zone(well, i cant escape in here too) Not just Non sjab members but also our own members and TICs
~WAY TO GO~

3. OTC 2007(starting in 11/3/07)
-->Back to help out in OTC this yr again(4th yr), taken up the post of welfare & safety officer and group instructor..

--> As a welfare & safety officer, i need to look into the welfare n safety of the trainees and officers! Birthday surprise? well, i am task to do it.. so pls be prepare.. i will be up to no good de.. haha.. just wait to see!

--> Group instructor? Yes! something which i want to be.. someone who guide and lead the future leaders in sjab..
~remember last yr i failed 3 of my trainees in hotel, i too feel guilty about it... but i rather i fail them myself than let them do something funny n stupid in SJAB..~

4. Footdrill Drill Instructor course?
--> wait a min! i am going as a trainee this time round, it is going to be conducted by SAF in june but seem i like i got problem in attending this course due to time constrain! june alr in green, how to get leave for all sat? If i didnt go, i dun want to be the only one without FDI badge! get it!

~Working Life?~
--> entering the real working life in 4 mths time.. will i be able to handle or take it? i dunno.. this is a common question in our head rite now.. why i feel scare and excited? well, the reason is simple: my job got to do with life n death of ppl..cant afford to make any mistake, so can u feel the pressure that i am facing? or am i giving myself too much pressure? but i strongly believe that only pressure can push ppl to perform their very best..

Everything seem to be in a mess right now.. cant really put into words to stAte all out.. SJAB, PRCP and entering into SGH(working life) seem to be a big question for this year.. 3 areas which i cant afford to lose out or give up. However, these 3 areas are happening at the same time.. Haiz.. at time i really feel tired..

IF THERE IS GUANDIAN ANGEL, WHERE IS MINE?

~busy weekend~

2007-02-04T05:54:00.000-08:00

(sleepy look.. 3/2/07.. with 2 hrs of sleep)

Finally got time to blog again.. cheers..

let me update my past few days of movement..

2/2/07-->A short day in school, then met up with Alfred to go shopping then to HQ to do the printing for the annual day.. lastly went out with matthew, zhong lie and hui shi to Changi Village till 2 am..

3/2/07--> morning-- POP & ANNUAL DIALOGUE 2007
afternoon-- lunch with Danny Sir and stephanie
(Danny sir treat cos felt gulity! haha.. didnt come for my annual
dialogue!)
Nite-- went to simon's birthday party @ pasir ris chalet.. soooooo far...

4/2/07--> Went to HQ for officer course meetin then to dinner..

This is how my weekend burn.. wahaha.. but i enjoyin what i am doing.. yeah..

so happy that annual dialogue went smoothly and ended fast.. learn alot from this event and get to see the true colour of lotz of ppl including bosses! well.. thinking that i can take a break from sjab event for the time begin but seem like i am wrong again! i am arrow to plan a BBQ for the officers in the officer course 2007! Hmmm.. welfare officer for officer then who is the welfare officer for eileen?

just happened to view Sara blog... oops, she wrote something which i feel sad n touch! she mention that hema,xuan and me got our career path curved out alr but only her without.. she did told me about her worries upon enterin this workin world such as gettin into her ideal hospital cos of her height and stuff.. well.. we should be lookin into the perform rite? i hope that my suggestion can help her in one way or another..btw, thanks for the encouragement that u wrote for me.. i will carry on with my life.. cheers mate..

Signing off
Xin

all abt anger and disappointment

2007-01-28T04:21:00.000-08:00

27/1/07 was the charity event, as usual, was sabo to the Emcee.. well.. it wasnt as bad as the first time, think this time round is much comfortable as it is the second time to be emcee.. ~Pls.. No more!!! haha~I wanna try more new posts.. Aim for other posts..

Let's talk about this event.. In whole, i should say that this event was really a success.. but think there are still room for improvement such as the number of cadets that are going! it seem that there are more cadets than the elders.. omg, i hardly see the elders ard! haha.. there are also KTV session too.. by the zone presidents.. oh my.. think jacklynn and i are the only ones listening and clapping along with the beat!~actually is the rank we are hoping for.. ha..zone staff officer grade 5 --> zone staff officer grade 4?~*slap slap.. wake up wake up* Thank god the event end at 1pm.. the night before hardly slept for 2 hours as need to rush out the powerpoint for the annual dialogue on the 3/2/07..

Talkin about annual dialogue, as mention, i am the one that chair for this event.. how glad am i to have Sam to help me.. he is the only one that really help me out.. just a call, he will get things done and listen to my complains.. sad to say, there is so many ppl showing out their true colours when help is needed.. so angry with cluster heads! cant do a simple thing such as gettin the attendance of the teachers.. really lose my respect to u all.. esp IVAN HO!

Back to the topic, we went back to HQ taking the ambulance drove by Zhong Lie, sitting in front was Hui Shi and the back consist of Alfred, stephanie, Simon and me.. we were happily joking ard..*Hui Shi.. i think u didnt brush ur teeth man.. keep saying the wrong thing the whole day such as "what if the ambulance suddenly break down now?" Mind u.. we are in the middle lane in the middle of the expressway!!! it happenned immediately when she say that.. Zhong Lie suddenly done a E brake.. *ppl behind got no safety belts!* i nearly fly out of my seat and hit the metal pole in front of me.. all thanks to alfred for holding me.. if not today will be in hospital le..

that all for now, need to go do my powerpoint le.. i wanna to show my ability to them! (ppl that look down on me!) ~JUST WATCH OUT!~

signing off
Xin
*angry cum shock stage*

~23/1/07~

2007-01-23T04:35:00.000-08:00

Dear blog,

It has been a tired week.. since the 30/12/06.. i didnt have enough rest..all weekdays and weekends seem to be occupy by attachment, school and SJAB.. well, isnt this the life i want after i breaking up? but somehow, i started to feel drain out.. ~help~

MOOD

I wasnt in my best mood today, all along i tot that i have let it go and wont let it affect me but somehow, till today then i realise that i am still bluffing myself..all these sad feeling suddenly come back when Xuan suddenly mention about him, the feeling is really hurt till i could feel tears nearly roll down again~pls pls pls.. dun hurt me again k and help me step out of this painful area..To Him:i dunno if i really hate you or not.. at times, i do and at times i dun.." i also strongly believe that time can heal everything, even this painful process that i am going thru..As for relationship, well.. there is no one in mind rite now.. i dun wish to hurt anyone by taking anyone as a substitute.. For now, i wish to put all my attention on my career and sjab.. let put all my love to all my patients..while waiting for mr Rite to appear.. ~i am sure everyone will agree with me on this point!~

FUTURE PLAN

After thinking for a few days, i finally come out with a conclusion: i decided to go for oncology.. like i say in my msn nick "area of interest n friends VS parents' disapprovement n health issue", by saying this, everyone would expect a hard time makin this decision.. of cos, i didnt mention it to my parents.. for i did not want them to get worry for me! i know where n what i am heading to.. Cancer patients are alr so pitiful and may even leave this world any moment, dont anyone would want to make a different in their life? Yes, i do.. i want to make a different in their life.. N it will always be my Nursing aim n goal for all my patients..

When fillin up the form, alot of tots come to me.. such as friends going to be separated to different hospital and even different wards.. i going to miss all my fun time with them.. esp my best sister, Hema.. N not forgetting xuan, latha, fen fen, mus and sara who we really went thru alot together during our attachment days.. To all: "although we have to separate after working together for 3 yr, we will always be close buddies.. let THOSAI be our witness! cheers mates!~i will miss those days when we suffered from all the case studies, scoldin, facing death and enjoyin the praises from sisters, waiting for the arrival of the newborn, seeing our patients going home and even "matchmake" during attachment.. most impt, i will miss u guys...

sign out

Xin

15/1/07.. first day of school as a yr 3 sems 2 student

2007-01-15T07:17:00.000-08:00

dear blog,
The days to annual dialogue is getting nearer n nearer.. as it is my very first project run by me, i will feel excited and tense up.. but it is also a good time to take a good look of other officers.. their true colour! Ppl pushin their jobs around, super angry with such ppl.. who they think they r? I wont let all these affect my performance! just wait and see..

15/1/07..
My first day of school(yr 3 sem 2)
although it is just 1 hr of lesson today, everyone seem to feel the hard time of the sems! cos the very first tut. the lecturer alr started to tell us the ICA presentation dates! worse part is: the first presentation is third week of school! pls pls pls... dun let me get into the first grp.. i got too many thing on hand currently!

after school was the best time.. went to seoul garden with Ifa and Ahmad(all i do is to sit there and wait to be serve..haha) and even to the library.. they were so surprise that i say i wanna to go there.. lastly, i even bought 3 tops for myself.. so proud of that.. haha.. it seem to be it has been a long time since i last bought stuff for myself.. cheers eileen!

let stop here for today.. feel so tired suddenly.. all "his" fault for makin me angry!

signing off

~Say Out Loud!~

2007-01-11T04:40:00.000-08:00

So long since i last update my blog.. soooo busy!

First thing first.. let talk about him! hmmmm.. seem like he is equally busy with his work and studies or other things ba.. but somehow or rather, i really feel that i had let it passed by me le.. however, i would wish to go back to the past when we just met each other.. No harbour feelings but plainly just friends in mind~izzit that wonderful?~

secondly.. attachment in AMKCH finally ended.. it was a painful attachment,mainly because of the lecturer ba.. she seem to be smiling at all of us but the smile seem to carry some evil tots that she have in mind.. haha.. waiting to kill us.. ~sound scary rite? but that the fact!!!~the best part is NO MORE CASE STUDY FOR THE NEXT FEW MTHS!~hurray!!~

Next 2 days will be at SGH HSE.. it is really an eye opening attachment! why i say that? cos it is a house to house visit.. i get to go to a 1 room flat which i didnt go before! and even know some of the patients sad background.. how lucky am i to have all the wonderful things around me and i dun even feel thankful for that! ~well..it's time for me to do some reflection man!~

Enough of attachment.. let talk about my plan for Jan till June:
1. white uniform (NYP nursin student)--> green uniform (staff nurse in SGH)
2. make annual dialogue 2007 a successful event (me chairman!)
3. To pass my PRCP(final attachment) with flying colour and get to my ideal ward)
4. To pass and obtain FDI badge in june
5. To carry out my duties well in OTC this year(taken up the post of welfare and safety officer)

Well.. there will be more event coming up, will update in here too..

Last but not least, after reading about "him".. i am sure many ppl will ask me about relationship ba.. what i can say now is.. "i am not really into it now.. not because of him,but i want to concentrate on my passion and interest.. haha.. but if my Mr Rite is there, things might change.. haha"

Signing off
~XiN~
9.58pm

just want let him know

2007-01-02T06:32:00.001-08:00

The time now is 8.30pm.. 2/1/07..
Feeling seem to be beta after talkin to Sara, i didnt know that i will burst out in tears so badly when talkin to her.. like what she say, she know i am really badly hurt cos this is the first time i cry out in front of her.. all the long, i am always a strong ger in her eyes.. but this time round i fail to control my tears, it just roll down heavier n heavier..let time heal the wound and let time flow by..

So many things had happened this few days.. esp in mind of leaving or taking leave from st john, but i know that rite now isnt a rite time to do that, i need work n work to take him off my mind first.. i dunno if this is the rite way to do but i guess this is the only way out now.. let just pray that i wont collapse in this process.. everything affected such as sleep and eatin.. rite now, it seem like i sleeping lesser n lesser each day(body seem to be screamin) and dun feel like eatin(sorry.. ah gong.. i know u care for me.. n dun wish to be like u sufferin now.. but i really dun feel like eating.. let me be ba)

special thanks to all who have been there for me these few days.. i know u guys are trying very hard to put a smile in my face.. i know i did try my very best.. sorry if i do a bad job.. i wasnt in the mood..

All i ask for now is that he will still treat me as a friend.. but not someone who avoid me.. just a sms or a short call is what i ask for.. i hate to lose a friend just like that..hope he know what i am feelin now..

do i hate him?

2007-01-01T18:55:00.000-08:00

Do i hate him or do i still like him?

yes.. he does hurt me badly this time round.. but i alr knew it long ago, didnt i? just have a hope that things wont happen so fast but it did.. thanks for spoilting my last few days of 2006 n the first day of 2007.. u did it..

well.. i guess i am feelin numb rite now.. the feeling was weird, but i know i got to let go for i believe me n him can be good friends.. just like ahmad n me!

signing off
xin